The Peace Factor



picture by Selaphotography

 I know she meant it as a compliment. After the service, a woman in the foyer said, “I love to hear you play your clarinet. It’s so relaxing I could fall asleep.” I preferred it when a friend called me the Kenny G of worship music. I’m definitely a fan.

Her remark, though, reminded me of a radio spot I did a few years ago for my book Peace Within Your Borders. “The title of your book fits you,” the interviewer commented. “Your voice is so soft and peaceful you almost lulled me to sleep.” Not exactly the effect I was aiming for. Instead of putting people to sleep, it was supposed to make people want to run out and buy my book!

I do want my music and writing to inspire and comfort, but there’s a fire in my heart that cannot be quenched. Apparently, my soft delivery sneaks up on people, though. I believe it’s because from the moment I asked Jesus to be Master of my life, I have sought His peace. Those who know me best realize I can be anything but quiet and peaceful.

I chose to title the women’s newsletter I wrote for six years, “The Quiet Spirit,” because that was what I needed. “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment…Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight” (1 Peter 3:3-4). That kind of beauty can only come from a soul at rest in Him. I still want that.

If people relax when I play or speak, I hope it’s not because my delivery is so mousy they’re bored into napping. Rather, I’d like to believe that the peace of God’s message, which quiets from within, settles on their hearts like a warm blanket. I choose to play songs that exude peace, because it seems that’s what all of us need most. I’m passionately in love with the God I write about, but often speak with a soft voice. His presence and His Word calm the raging storms of my heart; His mighty power is best displayed in changed lives and answered prayer. I am grateful for and dependant on His peace in every tumultuous situation.

So, if you haven’t fallen asleep yet, I want to say with a LOUD, EXUBERANT voice how much I love the Lord! He has done and is doing great things that are definitely worth staying awake for.

A Bouquet of Sharpened Pencils

I love the budding Internet romance in You’ve Got Mail when Joe writes to Kathleen, “Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address.” I'm a romantic when it comes to fall too. Even though I'm now a Grandma, September still symbolizes fresh starts and new beginnings.

I get the itch to select spiral notebooks, colorful pencils, construction paper, and new books. I love the weight in my hand as I riffle through the pages, the smell of newly sharpened pencils, and crisp fall mornings.

Each of us can claim this season of new beginnings, whether a student, young adult, parent, single adult, or grandparent. January may be our official New Year, but I also claim September as a time to start again. Miss Stacy encourages Anne with these words, in Anne of Green Gables by L.M Montgomery, “Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” No matter what we’ve done or not done in the past, in this new season, we can begin again. We can make better choices; we can look to God for every decision and word.

Whether that means cleaning house (mentally or physically), getting back to healthy habits, making amends for wrongs, or starting each day in conversation with God – we each get a fresh start in the newness of fall. If we will take hold of it.

God says, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland” (Isaiah 43:18-19, NIV).

So, even though I don’t know you personally, I would like to send you a bouquet of sharpened pencils to wish you a Happy Fall! If I could, I would have them delivered to your door with this message of hope: Whatever your need, God can fill it. Whatever wrongs you have done, He can and will forgive if you ask. However dry and desolate things appear at the moment, He can pour out streams of Living Water on your soul to revive your strength. He loves you no matter how many times you have failed or rejected Him and wants to make you new. Don’t you love our God of new beginnings?

What is Mentoring?

Friendship Mentoring

Since I am involved in mentoring relationships with three different women, I get asked these questions fairly frequently:
• What is mentoring?
• How did you start?
• Are you trained for that?
• What do you talk about?

I am always excited to answer, because mentoring is such a rich experience and I highly recommend it. Mentoring is just a fancy word for teaching. A mentor may be older, more knowledgeable, or possess skills that someone else wants to learn.

How did I get started? I asked God how He wanted me to serve in my new community and started getting involved. Pretty soon a woman asked if I would be willing to meet with her regularly. Later, a leader from church asked if I would be open to another mentoring relationship with a woman going through a painful transition. Recently, a young woman asked if we could get together occasionally so she could pick my brain about parenting, marriage, and Bible study. I love it!

It may sound like a new concept, but it’s actually very old. All throughout the Bible we see God-followers teaching others what they know.

Paul told Titus how and why we do:

Guide older men into lives of temperance, dignity, and wisdom, into healthy faith, love, and endurance. Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don't want anyone looking down on God's Message because of their behavior. Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives. But mostly, show them all this by doing it yourself, incorruptible in your teaching, your words solid and sane. Then anyone who is dead set against us, when he finds nothing weird or misguided, might eventually come around. Titus 2:1-8, Message (emphasis mine)

Unfortunately, most of us believe we have to be perfect in order to teach anyone else. When I was in my twenties, I asked five different women I admired to mentor me and was turned down each time. Even though I have wonderful, godly parents, I also wanted to learn from women outside my family. But they said, “I’m not qualified,” “I don’t have time for anyone outside my family.”

In frustration, I wrote an article, “Who Will Be There For Us?” (Virtue, May/June 1993). Virtue received a flood of letters from women just like me. Brenda Hunter, Ph.D. quoted it in her book, In the Company of Women, so did Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall in What Every Mom Needs. We all hunger for mentors. The Bible doesn’t say it’s only for trained counselors, ministers, or people with time on their hands; it’s for everyone.

I see four kinds of mentor relationships:

• Apprenticing
• Discipleship
• Life Skills
• Friendship

An apprentice might be someone you train to take over your business or ministry. You teach them wisdom and experience you’ve gained over time. Like Moses passed on the torch of leadership to Joshua.



A handy pocket friend

A disciple is someone who wants to deepen their spiritual knowledge. They might be younger, a new believer, or derailed by a crisis the mentor has previously navigated. It’s not a piggyback ride to heaven, but a living example of faith in all circumstances.

A life skills mentor might give tips on parenting, marriage, friendship, home and car repair, or an infinite number of things. As a young woman, I sought out women with the skills I specifically wanted to develop.

Friends might not think of themselves as mentors, but much of what we learn comes from them. My sisters, friends, and I share our lives with each other - lessons from the Word and how God is developing patience, self-control, and gratitude, as we mature in Him. We even learn from each others’ mistakes and heartbreak in this informal classroom of life.

Who needs to be a mentor? Every believer has something to offer. It doesn’t have to be regimented, but it does need to be intentional, and appropriate to the relationship. Mentoring can be simple - a walk in the park or a cup of coffee. It can be a project you work on together, or sitting down with Bibles and notebooks.

When I mentor, I try to let the other woman lead with her concerns, questions, and hurts. I want to respond with God’s wisdom and not my own opinion, so I pray in between meetings over each issue we discuss. We read the Bible; we pray; but mostly, we just talk. We laugh, cry, and focus on the hope Christ brings.

Who needs to be mentored? Every believer. We’re never so old or wise or experienced that we can’t learn more. If we’re going through a season of extreme emotion or stress, a mentor can be a solid source of strength.

I encourage you to consider mentoring. This intentional involvement with other believers will help you grow, enrich your prayer life, and energize your faith. Choose your mentors carefully, prayerfully. And when others seek you out for help or advice, look to the Source of all wisdom and encourage others in His name.

Doing Stupid Things Faster

This picture is one of my favorite advertising spoofs. You can just hear this woman’s perky voice exhorting us to fill up on caffeine. That would enable us to rush into idiotic decisions, speak words we will later regret, and repeatedly embarrass ourselves. Now I admit I love the pleasant jumpstart of a cup of rich coffee. But so often in life, what we need to do is not speed up, but slow down.

There’s nothing more terrifying to a teacher than watching middle school students enter the building each morning armed with sugar-filled pastries and energy drinks. Interestingly enough, it seems to be the students with ADHD, discipline problems, and unstable emotions who come loaded with dietary ammo. One Red Bull is enough to destroy their nervous system, and cause problems with their classmates and teachers all day long.

I don’t know about you, but I do enough stupid things without sugary carbs and stimulants for breakfast! As grownups, we know we need energy from solid, nourishing food and regular rest, but shortcuts are everywhere. And the temptation spills over into other areas of life. How can we keep from doing stupid things faster? Here’s what God has been teaching me lately:

Win Slowly
A quote from race-car driver Richard Petty: “When I first started racing, my father said, ‘Win the race as slow as you can.’ ” If you stop and think about that, it makes sense. In the story of “The Tortoise and the Hare,” the rabbit was faster, but his overconfidence cost him the race. The tortoise, who humbly persevered to the end, however, won. He wasn’t fast, but he kept the goal in sight.

Paul said it this way, “Run in such a way as to get the prize” (1 Cor. 9:24). We are in a race, but we’re not going to win if we run past opportunities to love and serve. If we stop to nap we may never reach the finish line. Our goal is heaven and it’s how we race that gets us there.

Don’t Assume
I wasted time the other night because I made an assumption. Hurrying to put my sewing project away, I glanced at the illustration and quickly stitched two more seams. I didn’t actually read the directions because I assumed I knew what I was doing. The next day I had to rip it all out.

Assumptions can make a mess in relationships too. I have underlined, starred, and circled Proverbs 18:13: “He who answers before listening - that is his folly and his shame.” The times I listen before I comment, I avoid many stupid misunderstandings. It’s honoring to let the other person finish, even if I think I know what they are going to say; it also results in better communication.

Let God Speak
We often laugh at Apostle Peter. He had a habit of saying stupid things, because he got excited and said whatever came to mind. One of my favorites is when, amazed by their glorious appearance on the mountaintop, Peter blurts out, “‘Master, it is good for us to be here. Let us put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.’ (He did not know what he was saying.)” (Luke 9:33).

I can just picture Jesus as He sighs and puts a hand on Peter’s shoulder while thinking how to answer that one. Before He has to, God booms from the clouds, “This is my Son, whom I have chosen; listen to him” (verse 35). I can relate to Peter. I pursue pointless projects in my eagerness to honor the Lord. God calls me to stop and listen to His Son.

Weigh the Options
I usually make decisions rather quickly and am energized to move forward. Unfortunately, quick decisions are not always the best decisions; it can lead to doing stupid things faster. I learn a lot from watching my husband Kelly. If there is tension between us, he will pause before speaking, to avoid saying something hurtful. If he has a big decision to make, he will mull it over, sometimes for days before taking action.

He knows that the first solution may seem like the best answer…until you weigh it against other options. Waiting can drive me crazy, but his decisions are sound. Seeking alternatives is a stretch for me, but I am beginning to appreciate the process.

Get Knowledge
The wisest man who ever lived said, “It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way” (Proverbs 19:2). Apostle Paul would have missed his calling if Jesus hadn’t stopped him. Paul had the best religious training and lots of zeal, but he was killing God’s own people because he didn’t understand Jesus was the Promised One.

“Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples…if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he [took] them as prisoners to Jerusalem. As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?’
‘Who are you, Lord?’ Saul asked.
‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,’ he replied. “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do” (Acts 9:1-6).

Like Paul, we sometimes quick to cut down God’s own people before we know all the facts. We misunderstand our mission. And in persecuting fellow believers, we persecute Christ. That’s why reading and meditating on the Word of God every day is so important. It reveals truth and the attitudes of our heart; it is the voice of God telling us what to do.

Doing Smart Things
Words that appear over and over in the Bible are: wait, listen, meditate, plan, and consider. The most important one of all is: ask. We don’t need to jet propel into the day so we can conquer the world in Jesus’ name. What we need is to spend time with Him, learning from Him and following in His footsteps. Jesus was never in a hurry. And He never did anything stupid.

Jesus spoke only what His Father told Him to say, and He did only what the Father told Him to do. Excellent guidelines for us. Even though Jesus was God in the flesh, He spent a lot of time in prayer - checking in, gaining strength, talking over the plan.

I still enjoy my morning coffee. But I hope that starting the day with God will prevent me from doing stupid things faster. He is teaching me the satisfaction of walking slowly with Him.

Hope – An Anchor for the Soul



photo by Selaphotography

 We were shocked when we heard the news. A friend of ours - a man Kelly has known for years - was arrested for burglary, armed robbery, and credit card fraud. We knew he was struggling with depression and financial difficulties, but never guessed it would result in this. How does a kind, intelligent, talented, church-going guy end up committing crimes like this? The only answer we could come up with was that somewhere along the way he lost hope and took things into his own hands.

Hope can be elusive in the world we live in. There is so much heartache and suffering everywhere you look. Financial stress, lost love, physical suffering – so many things can lead us to despair. Not everyone commits a major crime, but many suffer a life of quiet desperation. And you can’t always tell from outward appearances.

Years ago, Kelly had an employee who was energetic, friendly, dependable, and upbeat. One afternoon that man went next door to their jobsite and stabbed and bludgeoned a woman to death. Then he set the place on fire. No one saw it coming.

How can we fight against this despair that sucks people dry and encourage them to look to the God of hope? How can we encourage ourselves to keep hoping when it looks like there’s no way out of our current situation?

I was amazed to find the word “hope” is used 180 times in the Bible (NIV). I’ve been reading every one and it has been one of the most encouraging word studies I’ve ever done. Hope is much more than wishful thinking, like reciting “Star light, star bright” on the first twinkle in the night sky. Hope is a tangible expression of a deep abiding faith in a faithful God. God’s love, provision, and eternal purposes are verified throughout history, in scripture, and in my own personal experience. But how do we glean this hope and apply it to our own hearts?

Where Hope Is
Interestingly enough, the two books of the Bible that talk the most about hope are Job and Psalms, by the two guys who suffered the most. Job was a believer who lost all his crops, herds, and children in one day. When that didn’t take him down, Satan asked God if he could attack his body as well, to see if he would lose his faith. Satan was sure if things got tough enough Job would curse God. Job ranted and raved; he questioned God, and begged to die, but stopped short of despair. He talked a lot about hope though, and his hope was still in God!

Most of the one hundred and fifty Psalms were written by David. He was anointed king while still a sheepherding teenager, and ended up running for his life from the angry and jealous King Saul. Later, David’s children caused him much heartache. His friends, and even his wife turned their backs on him. And yet, he not only chose to hope in God, but encouraged others to do the same.

Fifty-three of the references to hope are found in the New Testament, in letters written by guys like Peter and Paul. They were beaten, chased, mocked, imprisoned, and stoned for their hope in Jesus. But they didn’t let their hardships in this life drown their excitement about telling others the Good News about heaven, since they were absolutely sure it was true. Maybe that’s the key, being absolutely sure of what we believe.

Some of my favorite verses (it's so hard to keep the list short!) are:

Job 19:25-27: “I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!”

Psalm 62:5: Find rest in God; my hope comes from him.

Psalm 119:11: You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.

Psalm 130:5: I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.

Proverbs 23:18: There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.

Ecclesiastes 9:4: Anyone who is among the living has hope.

Isaiah 40:31: But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.

Isaiah 49:23: “I am the LORD; those who hope in me will not be disappointed.”

Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Romans 5:5: And hope does not put us to shame.

Romans 15:4: Everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.

1 Corinthians 13:7: Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

2 Corinthians 3:12: Since we have such a hope, we are very bold.

Colossians 1:23: Continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel.

1 Thessalonians 2:19: For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes? Is it not you?

1 Timothy 4:10: That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God.

Titus 2:13: We wait for the blessed hope – the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Hebrews 6:18: We who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged.

Hebrews 6:19: We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.

Hebrews 10:23: Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

Where Hope Is Not
The Bible says that if we hope in people they will let us down. We see this verified in our world every day and I’ve experienced it in my own life. Nothing dependant on man is solid. Sadly, not even the ones we trust the most can always be counted on to stay true. We are fragile beings, swayed by our own needs, desires, and insecurities. Wealth, power, and human reasoning can look reliable and convincing too, but disappear in a puff of smoke. Our hope will disappoint us if we trust in them.

Proverbs 11:7: Hopes placed in mortals die with them; all the promise of their power comes to nothing.

1 Timothy 6:17: Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain.

Infusing Others With Hope
Sharing our hope with others is somewhat nebulous. You can’t feed someone a hope sandwich, implant a hope chip in their brain, or even legalize hope by mandate of law. Hope is contagious though. Once we catch it ourselves, we can infect others.

Believers since the beginning have left an example for us to follow. Those who radiated God’s joy kept the message alive. They passed out hope like bread in everything they said and did. Some people accepted this hope and were nourished by it. Others declined, preferring a diet of instant junk food. The same thing happens today since God’s hope is more about eternity and less about comfort for the here and now. Not everyone is willing to hope in what they can’t see.

If we want to be hope carriers, and I do, the Word urges us to:

Love it – love God’s ways, His Word, and most of all, Him. Our biggest hope is to not only walk with Him here every day, but to be with Him in person in heaven, forever.

Live it – Our lives should look hopeful. 1 Peter 3:15 says, “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” How often do people ask?

Share it –This doesn’t mean we have to be trained ministers or street preachers. But we should know why we love Jesus and why we have hope when things are rough.

My hope is that this has encouraged you not to despair, no matter how hard things get, and to share that hope with others. We all need hope! May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13).

Beth

New Book: Our Stories, God's Glory

Our Stories, God's Glory: Personal Stories of God's Touch is now available from Seed Faith Books! This is a wonderful compilation of stories from numerous authors about the many ways God has provided, comforted, awakened, answered their cry and so much more. (Yes, I have a story in there!)


The section headings are:
* Promises Fulfilled
* God's Love and Care
* Heaven's 911 Intervention
* Angels on Assignment
* Rough Waters and Dark Valleys
* Little Hugs from God
* God's Provision
* Sending Out Ripples
* Precious Good-byes
* Journey of Faith

Kelly and I have already been refreshed and encouraged by the stories we're reading of God's amazing love as we pour over this book.

This book is perfect for people who are hurting in these times of difficulty or who are just beginning to seek the Lord. Seed Faith founders, David and Helen Haidle, work hard to provide quality materials that can be given away in shelters, prisons, on the mission field, or anywhere people are sharing the Good News. You can order copies for $14.99 for yourself or others who need an encouraging word at:

http://www.seedfaithbooks.com/shopdisplayproducts.asp?id=31&cat=OTHER+Books

Yet, I Will Be Joyful

The house across the street from us is empty. The bank foreclosed on it some time ago and the grass has gone to seed. It stands in mute testimony to the anguish many people are facing in the current economy. It seems like everywhere you look, stores are going out of business, vehicles offer themselves for sale beside the road, and people worry about what tomorrow holds.

Couple that with the spiritual climate of our nation. We no longer recognize absolute truth. Christians are not only expected to tolerate, but support the sinful choices of others. Our hearts are broken by friends and family members who reject Christ to pursue addictive behaviors and alternative lifestyles that will leave them empty and scarred. So what is there to be joyful about?

Between 630 and 609 B.C., Habakkuk desperately tried to reach his people steeped in sin. The Babylonian invasion was imminent. Things looked pretty bleak, and yet Habakkuk chose to focus on the one reason he had to be joyful, no matter what the circumstances – He took joy in God. I guess that’s why I’ve been drawn to these verses lately. That’s why I’m memorizing them, clinging to them with every fiber of my being, drawing nourishment for my soul with these words:

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,

he enables me to tread on the heights.

Habakkuk 3:17-19

Habakkuk not only inspires and rekindles my faith, but his testimony proves the fallibility of three things we’re tempted to trust in other than God: what we can see, what we’ve worked for, and our backup plan.

What We Can See
The first line of this passage says, “Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines…” In other words, I don’t see any evidence that God’s going to take care of me. That’s kind of where we’re at right now. Kelly’s been in construction for thirty years and he’s never seen such a dead market. We trust that God’s going to get us through and enable us to pay our bills, but we have to focus on the God we can’t see instead of the physical evidence in front of us.

You may be straining your eyes to see evidence that God is at work in your finances, work relationships, marriage, children, or church right now. You may feel like God has left you to your own devices. That’s when it takes faith to choose joy instead of despair. It requires moving our gaze from the physical to the unseen spiritual realm where our Savior reigns.

What We’ve Worked For
The second thing Habakkuk mentions is crop failure - “though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food.” How much effort goes into tending and pruning olive trees and plowing and planting fields? Just our little yard takes hours of backbreaking work. I get so discouraged when the slugs repeatedly devour my hydrangeas, birds steal our berries, and the rain drowns our tomatoes. Even more disheartening is when we have worked for spiritual fruit and time after time the enemy and distractions of this world come and steal it away.

If you have planted much, but harvested little, you know what I mean. Perhaps you have poured your love out on a child, only to reap the fruit of rebellion. Or you have purposefully trimmed the dead wood in your own life in order to build muscle. Yet instead of feeling stronger, you feel weak and wilted. Every farmer knows that for all his hard work, he still cannot control the outcome of his crops. So he does his best and waits to see what comes. If the sovereign Lord is our strength, there will eventually be a harvest.

Our Backup Plan
Agricultural farmers often keep a few animals as well. That way, if it’s a bad year in the field, you can sell off some of the stock or live off what they produce. But what if like in Habakkuk’s situation, “there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls”? My husband and I wonder the same thing as we repeatedly dip into savings to make ends meet. What if we use it all up, we wonder, what then?

Have you ever had a back up plan go belly up? A job, relationship, a home, savings plan, or skills you thought would get you through if things got rough. But you used it all up and had nothing else to draw on. That’s why Habakkuk rejoiced in God’s endless supply. When our strength is gone, He gives us energy to scale the mountains of life like a graceful deer.

I’m making every effort to anchor my joy in Jesus, no matter how bad things are in the world around me. He is all I need and He never changes. Even when I can’t see evidence that God is answering my prayers. Even when there seems to be no fruit for my labor. Even when there’s nothing in the barn to fall back on. I will be joyful in God my Savior!

Guard Rails and Trees

 I’ve committed to working out every day to get in shape and lose a few pesky pounds, so my muscles have been aching lately. And now that summer’s here I’ve been weeding, mowing, and trimming. So cuts, bruises, and an aching back on are my list of maladies as well. But, even though it hurts, it’s all good, because I and the yard will look better in the end (no pun intended).

The same thing is true in the spiritual realm. Sometimes what feels wonderful in the beginning actually brings harm in the long run, and things that initially hurt can be beneficial. Authors of Boundaries Cloud and Townsend admit that none of us want to hear the painful truth about ourselves even when others can see we’re headed for disaster. But if they pretend the problem doesn’t exist to make us happy it will hurt more later. Expressing this kind of genuine love to others can get sticky.

Kelly and I have had to practice this several times in recent months, and it’s been heart wrenchingly painful for everyone involved. We love God and know that His ways are perfect, even though not always easy. We’ve had to say no to people we love when saying yes would have enabled them to get comfortable on their path to destruction. They haven’t been very happy with us and hold us at arm’s length because they’re determined to choose what’s harmful to themselves and others. We ache to comfort them, but pray instead.

God blesses us with both guard rails and trees – boundaries and people – to protect us from harm. A couple weeks ago, we visited my college roommate and her family on our vacation. Pastor Brent at Silver Creek Family Church was doing a series on “Guard Rails” – how God’s instructions keep us from veering off the road and crashing. After his talk on sex the first week, he introduced God’s boundaries in finances. A congregant had sent two photos to illustrate how important guard rails can be.

It seems this guy fell asleep at the wheel and ran into one. He woke up after it had penetrated his front headlight, gone through the motor, and the front windshield on the passenger side. He was jolted awake by 27 feet of guard rail hurtling through his suburban and out the back window! This wreck certainly did hurt his vehicle, but he was miraculously unharmed. He later realized that if the guard rail hadn’t stopped him, he would have woken up at the bottom of the cliff just up the road from where he stopped.

I can’t count how many times God has protected me from stupid mistakes and wrong choices by placing guard rails in my path. His Word and circumstances have stopped me in my tracks and given me a chance to make a better choice, and stay awake!

Pastor Brent called God’s instructions guard rails; authors Townsend and Cloud describe the people who stop us from certain harm as trees. Dr. John Townsend tells a story about a memorable family trip in their book Safe People. After they all hiked up a hill together, his sister, Lynn, started running down the other side. The family was horrified when they realized Lynn was hurtling out of control, toward a wicked barbed wire fence at the bottom. Thinking that if she went sideways it would slow her momentum John’s dad yelled, “Turn, Lynn!” She immediately turned, and ran smack into a tree. By the time they raced to her side she was already turning black and blue.

However, every time they tell that family story they end by saying, “I never thought we’d be so thankful that Lynn ran into a tree!” By speaking loving truth to each other, we can stop or at least pause our headlong rush to greater harm. It may hurt on impact, and it may take a while for the bruises to heal. Later, however, every time the story is told, we’ll be so grateful for truth telling trees.

This Christian life is all about building muscle, pruning, and getting rid of the weeds that spring up. I want to be willing to let God do that in me, to make me strong and beautiful. I also want to be willing to be a genuine lover of those around me – pointing out guard rails that are there for our protection, and even to be a tree when needed. To withhold the truth to keep the peace is harmful. They may think they’re having a fun ride as they plummet down the mountain, but they need to know about the barbed wire at the bottom.

~ Beth Vice

What Sharpens Your Saw?



Rest and Be Thankful

 Life can get pretty hectic. There’s always so much to do; people we want to spend time with, and calls we need to make. Kelly and I got to the point a week ago when we felt so overwhelmed that we needed to take a break and recharge. Even though it meant pulling back from the rest of the world. So, last Sunday after church, we slid into our jammies and spent the rest of the day hanging out at home. No phone calls – just movies, reading, foot rubs, and reconnecting with each other.

Putting on our pajamas is our cue that we can’t renege on our plan. It ensures we won’t venture out and get caught in a stressful situation after we’ve declared it a day of rest and rejuvenation. We’re in between the generation of curler-wearers and the younger generation that scuffs store aisles in pajama bottoms and fuzzy slippers. Once we’ve donned our sleepwear, we’re home to stay.

As it always does, Jammy Day did the trick. By Sunday night, we were both beginning to look forward to the new week and all we had going on. We were able to head back into the fray Monday morning full of energy and enthusiasm. Why is it, then, if it’s so beneficial, that we have such a difficult time making ourselves take a break?

Richard Eyre, author of Don’t Just Do Something, Sit There: New Maxims to Refresh and Enrich Your Life, says, “Like someone sawing furiously with a dull saw, we keep doing something and tire and stress ourselves, never taking time to just sit there and sharpen our saw.” It’s true, most of us feel like we have to keep moving at all times, even if our activity is no longer productive because we’re stressed and overtired.

Even Jesus took regular time away by himself or with His disciples for prayer, rest, and I suspect, laughter. So why do we think the world will fall apart if we take some time off once in a while? I like the way the Message paraphrases Jesus’ invitation, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly” (Matthew 11:28-30).

So my question is: What “sharpens your saw?” What do you do to get revived when you are feeling dull, so you can think and act with more focus and energy? I invite you to share your answers with other readers. What have you done recently to stimulate your spiritual or physical health? How it has benefited you and your family?

To get involved in the discussion, click on the word “Comment” below and write in the box. If you don’t have an online account, select the word “Anonymous” and be sure to sign your name in the comment box. Then “Post” your comment. Let’s encourage each other with fresh ideas on how to live for Christ more freely and lightly!

Beth Vice

My Way is My Way

Liz knew her daughter was strong willed, but she didn’t realize to what extent until the day Tanya decided she wanted to make her own peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Liz thought her three year old might need some assistance, so she went to the kitchen to supervise. However, Tanya let her know she didn’t want her in the kitchen.

“I’m just here in case you have any questions,” Liz assured her daughter.

With a withering look Tanya answered, “My way is my way, and I will do it my way.”

Well then, so much for being needed.

I laughed when I heard the story, but it smarted a little when I realized how much I resemble that little girl sometimes. I get an idea in my head of what I want to happen in a particular situation and my Father stands by to help and guide me. It is His kitchen after all. Instead of accepting His wisdom, however, I insist on doing things on my own.

I end up making a mess, my recipe doesn’t turn out, and it takes far longer than it should. All because I persist in doing things my way. Never mind the fact that He’s been doing things since before time began. Forget the reality that He’s all knowing and perfect. And the most important detail is He loves me and knows what I need better than I do. He longs to teach me what is best. Why would I not take advantage of His offer?

Isaiah encourages us to, “Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake their ways and the unrighteous their thoughts. Let them turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on them, and to our God, for he will freely pardon.”

In other words, the time to get His help is now. Enough of this messing around in the kitchen, telling God to take a hike. Salvation is only the beginning; we need help in the peanut butter and jelly moments of life too. This “limited time offer” is when we need to ask for help instead of insisting on our way. We need His wisdom, timing,words, and most of all, love.

God adds to Isaiah’s invitation, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways…As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:6-9).

Our ways seem reasonable at the moment, but they won’t stand the test of time. God knows what is perfect for every situation - the right amounts, at the right time. His ways are as superior to ours as a gourmet meal by an experienced chef is to the sandwich of a willful three-year-old.

When I saw myself in Tanya’s story it wasn’t complimentary. It reminded me of my need to look into the face of my Father and say, “Your way is my way. Please teach me, Lord, how to think and act like you. I want to learn from the Master.”