Come Out of the Dark

Big Lake, Tara Newman

In grade school I loved reading Edgar Allen Poe and lying in my dark bedroom. I grew up in a happy home full of love and laughter, but for some reason I was attracted to the macabre. One afternoon on my bunk, I felt a sinister presence in the darkness. I knew I was not alone and it shook me to my core.

I ran from the room, found my big sister, and asked her to pray for me. I didn’t tell her why I was afraid. She didn’t know I had opened myself up to the darkness.

Another day, I was doing the dishes and heartbroken because my latest crush didn’t like me. Suddenly I was holding a knife to my wrist. I pressed down and felt my pulse beating against the cold steel. That would stop the pain, I thought. And then a jolt awakened me. What was I thinking? Where did that thought come from?

I saw joy in others that I desperately wanted. But I was on the outside looking in, alone and wretched. The answer, I knew from all I had learned at home and in church was Jesus, but I was unwilling to give Him control. My misery and self-hatred grew. One night at youth group, I realized any control I thought I had was an illusion; either I served God, or I served Satan. 

So in the fall of eighth grade I asked my youth pastor to pray with me and surrendered to Jesus. My life immediately changed. The darkness fell away and God’s light flooded in. Instead of anger and hopelessness, I felt free and a new sense of purpose. Love filled my soul.

Since then I’ve seen an ever-increasing darkness in our society. The works of Edgar Allen Poe are tame compared to the commercials our kids see on prime time television. Their minds are constantly bombarded by the glorification of suicide, violence, and deviant sex. Vampires, witches, and werewolves are no longer bad guys, but the heroes in today’s entertainment. Our children are drawn to this darkness like deer to the headlights of an oncoming car.

An increasing number of kids are turning to self-mutilation and suicide. The Jason Foundation says suicide is the 2^nd leading cause of death for kids ages 10-24. “More teenagers and young adults die from suicide than from cancer, heart disease, AIDS, birth defects, stroke, pneumonia, influenza, and chronic lung disease, COMBINED.”

Why this dramatic upswing of hopelessness? I believe it’s from an absence of light. Where would I have turned when the darkness tried to swallow me up if I hadn’t known where to find the light?

Jesus said, “I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness” (John 12:46, emphasis mine). So how can we help our children resist the darkness and walk in the light? 

Here’s a few ideas:

• Monitor and discuss what you and your kids watch on TV or the Internet
• Read popular song lyrics together to see whether they promote hope or despair
• Read scripture as a family and memorize words of hope for dark times
• Talk about life from a heavenly perspective—everything on earth is temporary, but the choices we make here last for eternity

If you would like to learn more about walking in the light, especially in this occult-rich Halloween season, pick up a copy of my book Taking Back October: https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Back-October-Believers-Pursuit/dp/1502516292/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1540944049&sr=8-1

 

#walkinthelight #what’sinthedark #suicideprevention #parenting #raisingkidswithhope

Are You Giving Your Kids a Choice?

photo by Justin Luebke, unsplash

We love stories with heroes and villains we can cheer and boo. We want truth to shine, justice for the downtrodden, and protection for the innocent. It’s even better when the bad guy looks like a good guy, but in a climactic moment his true identity is exposed and his schemes fail. Then we cheer even louder.

These are perfect teaching opportunities. To ask our kids: Who else smiles and tries to befriend his victims, while appearing kind and knowledgeable? May I offer you a piece of fruit from this lovely tree? It will make you wise.

Satan masquerades as an angel of light. He entices us with imitations of God’s design; his offers of love and peace sound promising, but don’t deliver. His intent is to pit us against our true Hero, Jesus Christ.

Are we teaching our kids they must choose a side? Not wanting to frighten them, we focus on happy promises. In “Cookies, Coloring Books, and Combat” Kathleen Wilcox said:  “I told my grandkids, ‘Jesus loves you,’ so often I sounded like a recording. But I left out another truth: The devil hates you and wants to ruin your life. We memorized John 3:16, but we skipped John 10:10: ‘A thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.’ Yes, we should magnify the Lord. But our grandchildren need to know there's a destroyer so they can fully understand their need for the Savior.”*

The opposite of up is down. If you’re not in, you’re out. If it’s not the truth, it’s a lie. And if there’s good, there’s evil. This is Dr. Seuss material. But one of the most effective tools of the enemy is to get us to be silent about sin and hell. If we only show our kids one side of the coin, we nullify the gospel.

While we don’t want to scare them, we need to let them know in age appropriate ways there’s a war on for their souls.  Our kids need to know God’s love and forgiveness is offered to all but not everyone goes to heaven—not even if they’re nice and generous and lovable. We have to believe Jesus is the one and only Son of God who died for our sins and accept Him as Savior. Our children must know God is sovereign and holy, and Satan is a created being with limited power and the father of lies.

photo by Malcom Lightbody, unsplash

When Moses led the Israelites out of the multi-god culture of Egypt, he taught them about the true God and gave them a choice. “I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him” (Deut. 30:19-20).

A generation later Joshua said, “Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Josh. 24:14-15).

The New Testament spells it out even more. “Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil” (Heb. 5:13-14).

Want to raise a generation of spiritual warriors? Let’s give them all the information they need to make the most important choice of their life.

#choosethisday #bothsidesofthecoin #tellthewholetruth #teachyourkidsaboutsatan #goodandevil

* From Mature Living, May 2018.

Not Just for Kids Anymore

I stopped by the hospital the other day to visit a friend from church. He was still in the Emergency Room so I wasn’t sure if they’d let me see him. I told the desk clerk his name and asked if I could say hi, even though I wasn’t family.

“Who are you?”she asked.

“I’m his Sunday school teacher,” I said. 

She snorted. SNORTED! And said, “His Sunday school teacher?” as if it’s a strange thing for a grown man to have a Sunday school teacher. I wasn’t sure if he had behaved badly and she couldn’t believe he went to church, or she thought Sunday school is just for kids.

 

impromptu prayer for passing ambulance

Whether you call it Sunday school, Adult Electives, small group, community, or growth group—getting together consistently with people who know and love you, and want to know and love God better, is a very good thing. Small groups rejoice in answered prayers and victories large and small. And they offer comfort when other members suffer pain. 

Churches in Britain first began to offer Sunday school to poor children in the 1780’s so they could learn to read and write. They used the Bible as their textbook. These children worked in horrible conditions during the Industrial Revolution, six days a week. It wasn’t until 1802 that laws were passed to put a twelve hour limit on their days. And that stayed in place for another forty years. 

Their one day off became an opportunity to get an education and have a better life—plus prizes, games, outings, and a doorway to a lifelong relationship with God. The idea was so popular it spread to America, and adults got into the act, not just as teachers but as attenders.

An artist's beloved Bible, Dalia Lanita

Dalia Lanita's Bible

Kids aren’t the only ones who need to make friends, laugh, share a snack, and learn how to apply what the Bible says to everyday life. Bible studies, support groups, and small groups that meet all days of the week have nourished me in countless ways over the years. I’ve made lifelong friends and found comfort and support in the darkest times.

Lately, our Sunday school class has been studying Revelation, which can be a mystical and foreboding book of the Bible, but we’re having a blast. We have fun because it’s a safe place to be yourself, share what you’re learning, and ask questions. Plus we have snacks. We're growing together.

I’m currently involved in three kinds of small groups: Sunday morning in Revelation, IF Table—a women’s dinner and discussion night that meets once a month, and Spark—a group that meets once a week to read through the Bible aloud and discuss as we go. Each one has a different format and involves different people, but they all meet our deep need for connection—with others and with God.

join a group that is welcoming

informal backyard settings are great

What about you?

• Did you attend some kind of small group as a child? What were your experiences?
•  Are you part of a small group now? If so, what do you do when you get together?
• What needs does small group meet for you?
• What do you wish would happen in your small group that doesn’t?
• What kind of small group would you join if you could?
• Have you ever taught or led a small group? 

      I would love to hear from you! Your comments will help others who are either enjoying, frustrated with, or longing for a small group of their own. Your experiences and ideas could be the catalyst they need to take to connect with a community of terrific people.

#yeaforsmallgroups #adultsinchurch #adultSundayschool #howSundayschoolstarted #Sundayschoolisforeveryone

Do You Ache?

The chunky black letters graffitied on the underpass caught my eye as we drove through: “ACHE.” My heart tightened in a sympathetic bond with the writer. We all understand what it means to ache. It is constant, unrelenting pain, not always enough to incapacitate us, but enough to make us miserable. We suffer heartache, backaches, stomachaches, toothaches as an ever-present gnawing we can’t escape.

What was the author of this graffiti going through when they wrote this? There were no other words of explanation, just pain that needed to voice itself to the world. We all need that—someone to listen and have compassion, and help us find solutions.

Aches, like all pain, are evidence we’re in need of care. They’re a signal something needs attention. Pain is a good thing if it motivates us to find the cure.

A stomachache lets us know we’ve got a bug and need to get some rest, or that we overate and need to stop eating until our body catches up. Or it tells us there’s something going on inside that isn’t right and needs to be checked out. Or our stomachache tells us it’s time to take some deep breaths and let them out slowly until our nervous energy slides away.  

Toothaches and backaches signal we need to see a doctor, rest, floss, change our diet, or learn how to lift/work more wisely. If we don’t listen to our body’s signal to stop or change we’ll suffer greater consequences. 

When our heart aches, because of rejection, disappointment, or abuse, it’s time to be wise and pull in. We need to find a safe place where our heart can heal and not be repeatedly torn or bludgeoned.

Of all these aches, there’s nothing compared to the ache of a soul longing for God. Like other aches, this unrelenting emptiness is good if it motivates us to action. God plants this ache in us that can only be filled by His love. Nothing else will satisfy. No person, place, or thing; no puppy, career, or the glory of nature can fill the emptiness of a soul without God.

Job ached for his God when he was going through the torment of loss and grief; his body covered with painful boils. He wondered where God was in all this suffering. To top it off, his friends decided all this had happened because he had sinned and started preaching at him. He ached for relief, yes, but even more than that, he ached for God, “I know that my redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand on the earth…I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!” (Job 19:25, 27). And Job’s yearning was satisfied.

God also created us to ache for relationship with other people. Together, we don’t feel so alone in our struggles, or even in our joys. We can vent, cry, or rejoice together. One man wrote a song about this ache to be in God’s presence with His people, “My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God” (Psa. 84:2). His ache was satisfied when he went to God’s house.

Surprisingly, as we discover the solution to our soul-ache, it grows deeper and more persistent, “My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you” (Isa. 26:9). This pain is not from trauma or sickness, but the increasing sweetness of our relationship with Jesus. The more time we spend with our Creator, the more we want. We wake up thinking about Him, continue all day long, and even into the night. His love saturates every pore of our being with gratitude and purpose; we ache for His love and He fills us over and over. 

I have prayed for the graffiti artist to experience this exquisite ache for God, and find friends to sing, dance, laugh, hug, and cry with. I hope they paint their love for Christ on the walls of their church or home with joyful abandon. Aching, yet filled.

#wheredoesithurt #yearning #longforJesus #lookforlove #purposeofpain #createdtoneedhim #Psa84:2 #Isa26:9 #Job19:25