Today we’ll wrap up this Valentine series with the last two love languages. The first three were Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Gifts. If you’re tuning in late, scroll down for parts 1 and 2 and then come back for today’s big finish.
Quality Time: Focused, Relaxed, Priority
This is one of my husband’s highest needs. He doesn’t take a lot of time off from work, but date night, Sundays, and special moments together are very important in our relationship.
31. Brighten their day with an impromptu invitation for romance. One night my husband had been doing book work most of the evening. I sent him a text, “Would you like to join me for star gazing and praise music on the deck?” We shared the night sky together.
32. Even a phone call can be quality time if your loved one can tell you have set aside all distractions just to connect. This isn’t always possible, especially if you have young children or are at work, but your full attention is a valuable gift.
33. Get out in nature. Go for a hike or a drive, or take a vacation where you can admire the beauty of God’s creation.
34. Turn your phone off during date night or for an agreed amount of time so you can have uninterrupted conversation and just focus on each other.
35. Dance! Do a silly jig or strut your stuff with your spouse, friend, or children. Dance for fun, for exercise, or get close to your beloved.
36. Use movies as conversation starters. Pause the action at a crucial point and ask your sweetheart what they think will happen next, or who is right or wrong in that situation. My sister sometimes asks her husband to make up a different ending if a movie is disappointing. She’s either satisfied by his version, or highly entertained by his tales. Either way it’s fun.
37. Take time to enjoy simple pleasures. My husband came home the other night after dark and invited me to go for a walk. It was an unusually warm, winter evening and the sky was packed with stars. It didn’t take long to go once around the block, but it gave us time to reconnect and admire the beauty of the night.
38. Read books aloud together. My husband wasn’t too sure about this at first because he’s never enjoyed reading. But we pick out books that interest both of us; they have become a private world of memories that only we share.
39. Work on home projects. This can be a satisfying way to spend time together. If you’re not using noisy equipment, it provides an opportunity for conversation and you can be proud of your handiwork when you’re finished.
40. Pray together. If you pray with and not at each other, vulnerable and soft in the presence of God, this can be the biggest investment you make in your relationship. Honest communication with God draws us together—with our spouse, family, and close friends—like nothing else can.
Meaningful Touch: Love and Affection
Experts say we need at least ten meaningful touches a day for optimum health. Tapping someone on the shoulder to get their attention doesn’t count. All of us need to feel the love and affection of others around us through the sense of touch, married or single. Notice I don’t mention sex, even though I’m all for it in marriage. Our culture is so overrun with sexual images and innuendos that we’ve lost sight of using affectionate touch to meet the other person’s need.
41. Rest your hand on your beloved’s arm, hand, or leg during conversation. This lets them know they have your full attention.
42. Instead of greeting a child with a knuckle rub on his head (which I absolutely hated as a kid!), gently touch their head or stroke their hair as they stand next to you. Invite your beloved to rest his or her head in your lap and play with their hair.
43. Take the hand of the one you love as you walk along, or loop your arm through theirs. This tells them you’re proud to be connected.
44. Our hands have an impressive complexity of pleasure receptors. When sitting with your child or beloved, hold their hand palm up and stroke their palm and up and down their fingers, then playfully turn their hand over to explore the back as well. I begged my grandma and mom over and over to repeat the story about the puppy and the bunny that they played with my hands. It felt like love.
45. Wash each other’s feet then rub them with scented oil or lotion.
46. Hug! Hugging is a great way to greet or say goodbye to friends or family. And a long, lingering hug with your husband or wife can melt away stress and sorrow. It also leads to kisses.
47. Kiss! Kiss the top of your kid’s head, kiss away boo boo’s, and kiss and tickle your children. And of course, kiss your beloved every chance you get.
48. Touching someone’s face is reserved only for romantic love, because it is personal and tender. That’s what makes it special. Cupping their chin for a kiss, tracing the line of their ears or nose while gazing into their eyes is sure to make them feel special.
49. Care for your loved one’s wounds with a gentle touch and compassionate spirit.
50. Play footsie with your beloved—under the kitchen table, while watching a movie, or in bed.
I hope this has given you some great ideas on how to share love this Valentine’s Day, and all year round. I warn you, though, once you get started, it’s addictive!